[Trigger Warning: Self-Harm]
The author intended to distribute this poem around grounds to share the message of how simple acts can do so much. Written two years ago, it is still relevant for anyone who had episodes of self-harm or struggles now. Note that there are resources below.
Hello. I tried to suppress and resist it, but the stinging got worse, now I'm looking at blood dripping off the blade onto the floor.
What have I done, I don't understand, Why do I do this, harm from my own hand.
I think I need help, but forget where to turn,
a coward’s excuse because I'll never learn.
The burn from the air on an open wound - eventually even that will go numb too.
Realizing it's not worth it, I put down the blade, swear over and over I won't do it ever again.
Yet here I am, scarred again; makes no sense with the world’s greatest friends. Perhaps my mind is just broken and I have a
hollow soul; perhaps I fear knowing someone since my heart is simply stone cold.
I wish I understood what went on in my head, because now I'm lying here,
Crimson stains on the sheets of my bed.
I hold onto those moments, the ones that flash in my brain. Each and every time they make me put the blade away. Family and friends, mean more to me than words could ever convey. I want you to listen close, really hear these few words. You are who you are Just who you’re meant to be, You’re worth far more than any flower or Gem, and more than every drop of water in the sea, You are Invaluable and so incredibly perfect to me. So; don’t look in the mirror and be upset or weep at what you see. We will grow and change like leaves, But as long as we’re rustling in the wind together, that is all I’ll ever truly Need. So, step out of the dark and into the light, it's time you ask for help in this fight. We must love ourselves before we can love one another, but how can we when all we get is torn down by another. Sometimes we need help but don't know how to say it, it's always the ones you least suspect who are struggling to make it. I challenge you: reach out, take a hand. If someone seems like they're going through a hard time, show them how life can be grand. Share a meal or a drink, dance until you feel the good kind of weak in the knees. I'm not saying you have to go love someone solely, but you should go and love every single soul when it's free. Free of the prison built in their own Mind, free of the Past they want to leave behind, free from their Mistakes, free from the Hate. We need to learn to judge less and love more; we all live with a weight but we can't lift it alone. We must lift it together before we move on, cherish each second before it’s all gone. I sign this message from the one who needs it most, the one least expected, living right under your nose. You may never know but your smile helps me cope, makes me want to hold tighter to that rope. I could be your best friend or someone who just lives down the hall, but the truth is, it makes no difference at all. The world needs Hope and I want you to know, you could change someone's day with a simple Hello.
~Nicholas Mann
Self Harm Resources
CAPS 24/7 Crisis and Emergency Hotline: (434) 243-5150
Lynn Maxine Platzer Woman's Center: (434) 924-2103
UVA Modules for Feelings of Depression & Anxiety: virginia.silvercloudhealth.com Region 10: 972-348-1234
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Textline: Text "Home" to 741741 (in US and Canada)